From one of my journal entries, based on childhood memories…
pens and paper
Mother creating art
as we play at creations.
Wish I could draw
superheroes to save the world,
animals stalking in jungles,
or futuristic vehicles flying over cities.
Wish I could make people
look like people
Or paint the landscape
behind our home.
Wish I could be an artist
…like my brothers.
But I give up
Sneak off to
create a dark moody scene
as my fingers travel over
the keys of my favorite
canvas: an old piano.
A gift from my parents
so I, too, can create.
A note added later: I can! Through two sets of keyboards.
One uses music, the other words.
Yes, the flight or fight response is a biological reaction to a set of circumstances or to a single event.
But I have a choice. I can stop. Pick. Choose my reaction to a situation.
I ask questions: What is this? Why is this? How is this? And evaluate the impact and importance to me. For if I do not, it will be like death. To my creative self. To me.
This is my shift point. I choose my response.
I choose to move forward. To not let fears take me into flight.
I will allow my creativity to flow, as it must do, to sweep me out of my comfort zone.
When the voice speaks the question: Am I really a writer? I choose the answer. Not fear. Not doubt. Me.
I choose: Yes, I AM a writer, and you – fear and doubt – cannot keep my creativity locked in the dark.
I choose the river; no, the ocean’s flow of creativity. To let it rush over and through me.
I AM A WRITER, I shout into the air, and it becomes my reality. I choose this.
As I continue to work toward my goal of working from home and the completion of a novel, the old fear of my novel “not being good enough” came to haunt me. Doubt said, “You ebooks are trite. Who would possibly want to buy them. Your novel is trash. No one will ever read it.”
I stop. Shift, I tell myself. I choose. I AM A WRITER and I have something to say.
Challenge for today: What have you battled with over the past week or two? Share here, if you wish, or journal about your challenge.